I've never dreamed of getting married, more so, of having my own family. I can't imagine myself (mis)guiding and shaping the life of another person.
I've been in a long-term relationship with someone who doesn't consider himself a family guy. He hates children but he thinks he can manage to have his own family soon. Well, not so soon actually. He wants to marry late, maybe when he's already over 35. I have no problem with that. Like I said, I am the one who fears the "married life." Actually, I just want to be with him without losing ourselves in the bondage of matrimony. I just want to enjoy things with him.
After last night, I realized, we're not on the same plane. Not being asked if I can be the wife of someone I love is different from hearing the same person say: "I feel so unhappy with you. It's as if we're married even though we're not." That hurts. I should've never allowed myself to be that person to him. I don't wanna be the source of unhappiness of another person; especially of the one I love. Fortunately, I can still go back and re-trace my steps. Without him, of course.
At least, I can still walk-out of his life and not worry about the legal and moral consequences of a break-up.
I'm sure I'll be okay.
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